If you would’ve told me two years ago that I would consider a home birth I would’ve laughed in your face! I am NOT that kind of mom! I’ve been too traumatized by my profession and hearing birth horror stories on a regular basis.
Let me start off by saying this. I am going to share my story, my journey,and my experience. EVERY birth is beautiful, and miraculous. Home birth, birth center, medically induced birth, natural, epidural, vaginal, cesarean. It is all incredible. Every way a child is grafted into a family is precious and special- adopted, IVF, surrogacy, planned, unplanned, blended family.
Let me share my first birth experience.
I used to say that I had a wonderful experience. I guess I was simply thankful to have my baby girl, to have her health, and to have my health.
I was induced at 41 weeks. Like most women, I was told to schedule an induction at 41 weeks because the there is concern of the placenta getting “too old.” I was warned by others to not get induced, but I trusted my doctor and was ready for pregnancy to be over! I consented without hesitation.
We checked in at our hospital at 7am on May 17. I was induced at 10am.
I was happy and pain free for 12 hours. Essential oils flowing. Chillin’ at the hospital and very hungry.
Then my water broke at 10pm.
The pain began. I had intense back labor from 10am-5am. 7 hours. I wanted to get up a do all the techniques I learned in birthing class but I was told that I had to stay in bed to monitor me and the baby. I didn’t realize that was part of the package when you get induced. The monitor on my baby kept slipping so I was told I had to lay on my back… with back labor… absolute torture.
Around 11:30pm, the anesthesiologist reminded me of how busy he gets, and how nearly all women get the epidural. If I wasn’t 100% convinced I didn’t want it, I should just get it over with. So… being unsure… and being bound to my bed in pain… I consented knowing the risks to sticking a needle in your spine.
It should get easy now, right? Nope.
It didn’t work. No seriously. It didn’t work.
It numbed the outside of my thighs. The nurses kept telling me to “push the bottom” and NOTHING. NO relief. I pushed that dang button all night long, and nothing helped. I felt EVERYTHING. I feel the catheter. I felt every contraction. The anesthesiologist came back (who was actually a resident I later found out) and told me he could “try” again but there was a risk, and no guarantee it would work. Well heck, if it isn’t going to work, what is the point?
I screamed through the night. I mean, SCREAMED through the night. I was totally that crazy woman in labor and I didn’t care. At one point the nurse ran in mocking me saying “You screamed like the baby was coming out!”
Hungry. Shaking. Hot. Cold. Convulsing. Exhausted… for 7 hours.
Then it was time to push. I pushed for 2 hours. TWO HOURS. My best friend held one leg. My husband held the other. I kept telling my husband, “I can’t do it anymore. I’m so tired.” But then, after 21 hours in labor, my baby girl was finally coming out. And as she is coming out the nurse says, “stop pushing, I need to get the doctor.”
STOP PUSHING????? At that point, it was involuntary. You cannot STOP pushing.
It was shift change so an army of people bust into my room, hugging each other, laughing, joking, saying good morning, and taking their time as I am SCREAMING. NO respect for the woman pushing a baby out.
Then the moment of pure elation. All the pain subsided as my beautiful baby was placed in my arms. Per my birth plan, I had immediate skin to skin. We had delayed cord clamping, and my husband was able to cut the cord. As I am enjoying beautiful moments with my daughter….
Someone (doctor, nurse, who knows… there was an army of people down there) starts punching my stomach, over and over and over. Okay, they weren’t punching me, but it felt like it. No warning. No respect for the miracle that just occurred. I yelled “OUCH! YOU’RE HURTING ME!” They said, AGAIN, that I shouldn’t be feeling anything and that they were getting the placenta out. Well cool, I’m not screaming for no reason! Felt everything. Crying again in pain, they proceeded. And then whoever else was down there stitched me up.
At this point though, I was overjoyed. I overcame the worst pain of my life. But she was here! The beautiful baby I had dreamed of was here.
I thank God every day for my beautiful baby girl. I’m thankful for her health and mine. I do wonder how differently my birth could have been… In my next blogs I’ll be sharing our post partum experience, nursing, and why we are considering home birth for this upcoming birth… stay tuned!
Comment below with your birth story!